Friday, December 22, 2006

A frequent dream

... I find myself in a huge hospital. There are many people studying medicine. Some are found discussing problems with patients and their relatives. There are many more moving here and there like me. I don't know if they really have any purpose of not. But looking at them I get a feeling that they are in search of something or somebody. I see them now, I see others the next moment. A huge number of people around me. Yet, thankfully, there is enough space for each individual and I see no one really entering the private space of eachother. One more strange thing about this place is that there is absolutely no noise. There is no sound despite the presence of host of people.
I don't remember the purpose of my visit to this place. I don't know if I really had a purpose. I don't remember why and how I had come to this place. I just remember that it is here that I find myself with no purpose or unaware of the purpose. I am in search of something. I want to get out of this place. I feel that is the first thing I can do. I don't know how to go out. I don't know anything about the hospital. How did I come here, I don't remember the path either?
I try my best. I move here and there. I see some stairs going down. I get the feeling that I need to go down before I can go out. I start climbing down the stairs. I don't see them ending. I am confused and lost. I pick up speed and start scurrying downwards. I don't know when this would end. I peep down the staircase to see how many floors to go. I find to my surprise that the bottom floor is out of my sight.
I get a strange feeling of being takenover by some force which is controlling me. Overtaken by the sheer force of this strangeness, I stop at the next floor. I go about the place trying to search of someone who could be well versed with this place. I am not sure whom to appraoch. I see a person in white coat. Looks like a person who is studying in this place. I thought he could help me with the way. I approach him and trying not to disturb anyone else, in a very low pitch I attempt to ask him the way out. I find myself not being able to speak out. Only lips and tongue move and try to make some signs out of this movement. But the sound element is missing. I make an attempt again and succeed in creating sound out of my signs of lips and toungue.
Me: Could you please help me with directions? I am lost in this place and want to know the way out.
He: I am not sure myself. I just know that you should take that route.
Me: Can you elaborate? I don't understand the directions.
Suddenly a middle aged lady come over to us and helps me with some more information. She says, pointing a staircase on the opposite side, "Take that route and climb down till you reach the end of the staircase. On reaching the end, you ask others about the route, they would be able to direct you further."
I am not conviced but was comfortable that I can atleast find my way out because of these directions. I thank both of them for their support and assistance. I continue with my journey. I called this a journey now because of the amount of time I spent on it and the range of events and observations that I have made so far. I met many people I talked to them. I spent time with them. But I still am not attached to anyone. I have a purpose in my journey - I want to go find my way of of this big hospital.


I wake up from my sleep disturbed, confused and lost.

I am frequently being disturbed from sleep because of this strange dream. I get this dream almost everytime. I would like to know why? Now I understand why so many people desire or desired to know the meaning of the things they dream or dreamt of. I can empathize with the people who believe dreams are important. These dreams disturb not only my sleep but also my routine. I spend most of my time contemplating over the dream sequence. I want to know why I dreamt the way I did. Does it have any deeper meaning? Is it because of some strongly rooted questions and musings about the purpose of my life? Is it at a higher plane and at a level beyond the reach of the humans? Is it at the meta-level that defines life? Can we ever interpret them? Multitude of such questions run in my mind.

The other obvious questions specific to this dream include:
1. Is this related to my life and finding purpose of my life?
2. Is getting out of the hospital equivalent to getting out of the birth-life cycle?
3. Is hospital equivalent to the world where I live?
4. Why hospital? Has it got any deeper, unfound and untraced correlation with my life?
5. Why did not I create bonds with anyone in my dream? Does it say anything about my personality or state of mind?
6. Like life, why no one I met or saw knows either the way out or the purpose of being in the hospital?