Sunday, March 08, 2009

Living to work or working to live

More often than not, I get this thought. What am I doing? Like any person with aspirations of building a wonderful career, I am working harder and harder. Initially, I had nothing else to do when I came back home; or I thought so. I was in the office from anytime to anytime. I never thought that it was actually detrimental to me. Further, I had enjoyed every moment of work and success. Slowly, from the objective of "Working to live" transformed, with out my cognizance, into "Living to work". I didn't realize that till I had to think of many things in life - personal life had taken more importance because of new responsibilities and new people in life. Now, I realise what I had done to myself. I had become a workaholic. What is a big deal in being a workaholic. Genuinely I don't know how it impacts the life of a person in general. But my experience has taught me some side and ill effects of being a workaholic.

Let me start from the evening of any given day.
17:30 - We go for a cup of tea and a small walk to take a break from the office.
18:00 - Start working and check the list of "to do things" and see how any are pending. There would be many pending things and tension in my head increase - first sign of the illness.
18:30 - After identifying the pressing things, start working on them and closing some of them. This continues till about 21:00 hrs.
21:00 - Now that it is already so late, I feel that a little more effort from my side would help me in crossing some more. - second sign of the illness
22:00 - My head starts feeling heavy and with great dificulty I try to focus on my work. Fatigue overtaking my determination, I accept that it is time and start packing things up.
22:30 - I leave for home and reach by 23:00 hrs, eat and feel heavinesss and discomfort in my stomach. I can't sleep immediately after sleep. So, I start browsing to catch up with my friends check and respond to mails.
00:00 - I retire for the day. I can't sleep. Some of the things from my work which I had left mid-way and not worked on start haunting me. - impact of the illness.
I hardly get to sleep properly and have a very disturbed sleep. I can't wake up early in the morning because I slept late and had a distrubed sleep. I struggle to wake up and succedd only after 8:00 hrs.
8:00 - Time for ablution (not spiritual though)
8:45 - Start feeling burning sensation in the morning and having problems like acidity. No hunger. I have my breakfast with great difficulty. Through out the morning till I reach office, I start thinking about what I should do at office. I get irritated and frustrated about my job - I ask myself a question "Am I working to live or living to work?"
9:10 - Leave home for office.
9:30 - I reach office. I have no inclination to work and no desire to check my "to do list". I wait till a cup of tea and waste time till 10:30 cribbing about myself. - impact of the illness
10:30 - Tea time. What have I done till now? Nothing. I think "Ok let me have a cup of tea before I start my work."
11:00 - Start preparing a to do list and start working on them.
12:00 - Before I do something substantial I start feeling hungry. I recollect that I could not have much in the break fast. I wait till 13:00 hrs not doing much work.
13:00 - Lunch time. "What am I doing? I have to complete something today. Let me start afresh after lunch.", I feel.
14:00 - I feel sleepy. I haven't had proper sleep in the night. I curse myself for sleeping late in the night and think of not doing it again. I have a cup of hot water (substitute for tea - too many tea would spoil health you know).
14:15 - Business as usual starts now. I know half my day is gone. - all because of the illness.
17:30 - Refer to the beginning of the schedule.
Note: There is no personal life in my schedule. Where am I giving time to myself and my family members.

This is the first time I have documented my daily schedule. This schedule, I believe, is applicable to not just me. But many people. Now I realize that there are many things I can avoid to improve my health. I have hardly worked to call myself a workaholic. But my start time and end time at office make me feel I am a workaholic. If I can minimize the lost time, I can improve the work-life balance.

Firstly, I must sleep early on Sundays to wake-up fresh and early on Monday. Reach office early by 8:30 hrs and leave office early by 7:30 hrs.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

After a long gap

It is evident from the gaps between the posts on my blog that I have been off for quite a long time. I would say, main reason for this gap is that I have been focusing on things like building my career and fulfilling my new responsibilities in new roles.

Off late, my trysts with my ignorance has been more frequent than it has ever been. this new development in life, I believe is either because:
1. I was more ignorant that I ever thought
2. My encounters with new things has increased
Any which way, I believe I am evolving as a more matured and more learned. I feel it daily. My general knowledge and general awareness levels are improving. I am able to communicate more effectively than before.

I have also started realizing something about understanding humans and their psychology. How much ever we understand a person, it would only be the tip of the ice-berg. Understanding and comprehending any person in entirety is impossible. This applies to even the closest of the family members like brothers, sisters, and parents. I am yet to understand myself, leave alone the others. Human mind is too complex to be understood because of its unpredictability.